The Giving Tree - A China Experience

Have you ever had one of those experiences you can't quite capture in words but realize it has an impact that's everlasting? Jon had one of those today. One that defines the idea of giving, of caring and one that reminded us of that part of Christmas we can easily forget in the myriad of festivities.

The Giving Tree. Not a new concept to most people, especially those that work in a company that employs the energy and goodwill of its employees to do good in the world. It teaches compassion and helps to harbor a sense of appreciation and respect. Not that Jon needs to learn these lessons. He is the most compassionate person I know. He teaches me something each and every day. Mostly good, sometimes questionably strange and definitely how to be spontaneous, joyous and see the good in everything and everyone.

So what did he actually learn? All this and then some. Like how important it is to make a difference. How fortunate our friends, our family and we are in this sometimes chaotic and scary world.

His assignment? A 9 year-old, less-than-fortunate Chinese boy in need of clothes, a jacket, hat & mittens, toys and school supplies. Budget? 200RMB (approx 30USD). Where to shop? Who the heck knows - we live in Shanghai! So, being the creative guy that Jon is, he handed the assignment to our driver, Yao, and asked for his help. And by golly, Yao came through a mere 1RMB over!

Today Jon boarded a bus with 12 other Dow employees to make a difference by delivering 121 gift bags full of necessities. Their destination was a Primary school here in Shanghai. The route, an interesting manuever of one-lane, narrow streets and alleys - delivering them into a primary school courtyard. 704 grade school students marched into the courtyard in the straightest of single-file lines, arms swinging at their sides as if military training was a daily ritual. They stopped and stood at attention with the slightest bit of joy sneaking a twinkle in their eye, knowing what awaited them! Defintely no (American)A.D.D. in this group.

Classrooms, a mere 20x25, was meant to provide 44 children with a suitable teaching environment. Each child, one by one, was delivered a gift and each returned the favor with a sentiment that comes naturally to most of us - "Thank you very much". Not Xie-Xie which is thank you in Chinese but "Thank you". Why is this so special? Because they are learning their English as a second language - a universal language. A language that will help deliver them into the world across boundaries most of us will never know.

At the end of the school day, children boarded buses crammed like sardines. Not sardines, but flat-presses. Some parents picked up their kids on electric scooters loaded with anywhere from 3-5 people each - seriously. Imagine Mom driving, one kid in front leaning to left, another in front leaning to right and two behind her!!

So how did Jon depart? Just as crammed but instead with the pleasure, fulfillment, respect, appreciation and sheer satisfaction. An everlasting lesson.

Merry Christmas, America!
The Nicholas'

(to see more pictures - visit Beth on Facebook)

As the holidays draw near...

There's nothing better to get you in the spirit of the holidays than a bit of Josh Groban's Noel album, a 6 foot fake tree with no lights or decorations, the warmth of early fall and a strong dose of smog. Throw in 7200 miles of distance from family and friends, over 5x the cost for a 19lb frozen turkey, and Thanksgiving plans gone amuck due to the circle of life and you have the foundation for my aptly titled Shanghai Overseas Sacrifice (SOS) we've come to appreciate and respect.

Which brings me to my point - that life is funny. It's like a puzzle with a gazillion pieces and each piece carries a story, either bland, solid or chaotic. It has edges, easy parts and really amazingly complicated parts. Sometimes you try to move it and it falls apart. Sometimes you debate whether you should glue it to a permanent backing but usually decide it's more interesting to try again when the time is right. And...it is purely strategic. So what do you do when you discover you've lost a piece of the puzzle - the most significant piece or pieces - and that without them the puzzle loses its meaning and your sense of accomplishment quickly diminishes?

The holidays away from family on the other side of the world, immersed in a completely different culture and environment is like finding your puzzle is missing pieces. It doesn't hit you until you've gotten to that point and the thought of all its taken to get there hits you square between the eyes. I've had my breath taken away lately at that exact point of realizing pieces are missing from my puzzle. It's a bit numbing to say the least, too numb to cry and too numb to even laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it.

Quite frankly, those missing puzzle pieces are essential to our lives. They are the pieces of our family & friends, the snow, music and snap & sizzle of the fireplace, the annual Christmas tree hunting, smell of fresh pine, hot cider with rum, the carving of the turkey, collapse from overeating and the gift of giving. It can be just about anything that brings you to that point of discovery and it takes the wind right out of you.

So as I study this incomplete puzzle and wonder if it has any meaning or ability to convey its art, I pause at the simple realization that the journey to get to this point might be interesting enough and we'll simply have use to our imagination and memories of holidays past to complete it.

As Thanksgiving draws near, take a moment to pause and be thankful for family and friends near and far and the puzzle in front of you, complete or not.

Happy Thanksgiving

The Nicholas'

Culture Shock!

It's been a bit of a rough go over the last month or so. Call it Culture Shock. Blame it for writer's block. And here we are mid-November facing the holidays with a few more grays and kids with emotions all over the place. Our new family motto - "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". The picture says it all!

Here's are the key team player's and their brief stats:

• Jon. Man of the house. A warrior true and true. Blood pressure a bit high, weight quite down and Friday nights spent bewildered. Does he let it bring him down, down, down... not a chance. He finds the good in EVERYTHING. This guy will bounce back the next morning, grab a bike and a kid and head to a high school basketball game. (yes - on a saturday morning. you learn not to ask questions). Or, in some cases find any way to experience the winter element. (right side of photo)




• Beth. Tired, grayer and still seeking food comforts. LOOK AT ALL THAT GRAY (before color mercy mission).How else do you explain the fact she will engineer a whole food "doping" ring by coordinating three different focal points to perform household good reconnaisance missions, Meijers shopping and suitcase borrowing. This effort resulted in 50lbs of US goods and required asking a visiting global leader to escort all this way. The nerve! The satisfaction.

• Megan. A portrait in the life of a teenager. Sleeps til 11, tell you she's old enough to make her own choices and stay up as late as she wants yet the next day tells you she doesn't want to grow up! huh??? Misses soccer terribly and looking forward to spring school team. College prep-like homework up the kazoo and toss in a new school, multi-culture and UNIFORMS and you have either dabbled with fate or created a child ready for success... check again in 10 years!
  


• Emily. Bun Bun the Middle One. She quietly plots while smiling a twinkly smile. We sent her off on a 7th grade week-long school trip to Beijing and we got back this very grown-up child. Or better yet, pre-teen. The big 13 looms this spring and she knows it! The only one to not suffer from culture shock although she'll politely tell you to turn the Christmas music off because it makes her sad. (middle of photo).
  

• Chloe. The littlest and mightiest. The one who would not let us forget what we did to her for 3 months straight. Until now. Now she slightly smiles, agrees with her sister and says "I'm with her. I don't want to go home. I like it here". Parental manipulation poster child. But a spirit that amazes, an energy that you'd envy and a sweet charmer. Watch for future postings. Something tells me she'll be starring in a few dedicated blogs.

Stay tuned for an action pack thriller, but have a little patience for culture shock related intermissions.

September 25th - A 2 hour drive does wonders...

We took it upon ourselves to initiate a trip west of the city to do what foreigners do best, sight-see! Our destination - Zhouzhuang water village. 900 years of history and life. And we thought Philadelphia bore some history! http://www.travelchinaguide.com/attraction/jiangsu/suzhou/zhouzhuang.htm

Supposedly Tom Cruise filmed Mission Impossible 3 here in Zhouzhuang, but it's likley to have been one of the more remote and obscure water villages. It's more fun to imagine him seeking a couch to jump on and declaring his love for China!

Before you can begin such an adventure, you must carefully plan out the day. I'm wondering if you can guess by now what aspect of the plan is most notable and worthy.

Food? CORRECT! That won't cover all the necessities, though. Packing a lunch, drink and snacks will prevent you from encountering debate, bravery and torture in what is supposed to be a pleasant and relaxing day.

Map? Not the map - the driver is your map! Give him an address and sit back and enjoy the ride. Since Megan was away last week (stay tuned for a blog of her experience), Jon and I shared the middle captains seats while the wee-ones camped out in the backseat of the van. It's as close to a date as we can sometimes get.

Tunes? Yes - that is a necessary element of a long ride. We packed up the IPAD loaded with tunes to use as our portable radio. You really don't want the driver to turn on the radio unless you like the local offerings streaming through.


Toilet paper? Yes again! Why? Because most public toilets, outside the very modernized area of downtown Shanghai and our expat area, offer toilets in the ground and no paper! Maybe this picture helps explain that. I've determined that since so many Chinese ladies wear dresses of some sort, maybe this is a smart idea. Try it with shorts and you'll require flexibility, strategic squatting and really good aim! (p.s. those are not my skinny legs HA HA HA.... Chloe takes the credit for attempting aim and vanity!)

The village was full of sights, sounds and smells that take you to a new dimension. The history is rich and unique, the people proud and the ambience a simple portrayal of all that makes the community and family feel come to life. The shops - small carved out closets of space selling everything from spun goods to spices to dried tea leaves (does that come with papers and lighters?) to dried fish on sticks and tea-stained eggs. I love their spirit in the realm of effective food utilization.

Our favorite part was the canal boat ride topped with Chinese folk songs. I have this great video to depict the whole experience but of course the site won't upload it properly. I will work on an upload to facebook!

Definitely a trip worth taking. We'll add this to the visting friends and family list. I sure hope that list gets put to good use (uh-hummmmm)!!

They call this food?

We take food for granted. Ever since we can conciously remember, there was food. Aptly tasting food. Food to delight in. It didn't matter if at one point it was from the breast, bottle or concocted from some powder substance. Simply put, since we've been born, it was food and it made us happy!

So it causes one to pause when food, although necessary, becomes a subject of debate, a subject of bravery and sometimes the subject of torture.

Take for instance the debate aspect. Food is a necessity to thrive and live. What is there possibly to debate? How about what it is? I spent my entire life living with full recognition of what fanciful delight tempted my palate and could easily recognize and trust what was presented to me. But here we are on the other side of the world and I can't, for the life of me, win this debate. And I can be one heck of a debater!

Then there is bravery. Let's put the use of this word into context first. I use it with no mention of aptitude or recognition. I am no hero by any means. Although, I get some credit for stepping out of familiar territory to at least try something new (maybe old to you). Sushi, all sorts of it! The presentation was artistic and colorful. How could I turn it down - and I don't even like seafood. How about a full baby squid? All 8 squiggly legs attached to plump little 2 inch diameter body. I guarantee I didn't chew and am thankful for seasoning sauce. Jon still threatens to repress kisses, but you and I both know that it'd take more than that for him to follow through on that threat! Oh, and there is the delicasy of duck skin rolled in tortillas and duck meat - skinned and carved from a whole duck, beak and all, right next to you no less. Add a little soup containing finds from a snorkeling adventure and I think I've sold you on my bravery. Frankly, Spongebob's world is quite good, barring Baby Tentacles!

But life and food wasn't intended to be that easy, so the element of torture was thrown in. This starts with the debate aspect but ends in a cry of mercy -YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING, THERE IS NO WAY I WILL EAT THAT! I am clearly a wimp. I've seen all sorts of unidentifiable food objects, some with full skeletal structures and others with a goo that speaks terror - like today's plane food. That meal begins and ends with the consumption of a very small supposed bread item and a swig of water. And I am left with a bit of wonder at all the indigenous people taking a fancy and satisfaction at the same meal of terror.

Am I losing weight with this food debacle? Not really. The weight loss credit goes to Jon and Emily. You see, the conquest of finding normalacy, like the simple pleasure a bottle brings to a baby, ends with a cleverly planned night out to dinner... American style. Some call it desperation, far from bravery. Did I mention bottle? Alcohol exists over here, and that, if not anything else, provides the illusion of bravery and conquer of torture.

I've now just arrived in Thailand where Jon recently visited and reveled at the amazing food and spices. We've always been fans of Thai food - albeit American style. I'll give it a good ole' girl scout effort. If all else fails, there are rolls with butter and bravery juice!

Bon Appetit!

September 15 - Family is the Nucleus

No matter what angst we suffer or joy we delight in, there is a common theme that absolves itself after much deliberation and pondering of life's meaning and course. Family*. It is the epicenter, the core, the scientific nucleus of happiness, content and purpose.

So here I lie, laptop at hand and the music of Glee settling my soul, I find that no matter what concern, frustration or humor I discover in each day we navigate our way blindly through China, our family provides a beacon of light.

Tonight I proudly present my family. A picture I find that represents us best. It shows the circle of trust, the circle of life and the circle of dependency and pure love. This was taken by Aunt Cyn just before we departed our beloved America for the unknown. Imagine the thoughts these kids were dealing with but relying on us as their parents to forever be their beacon of light and hope and faith. We continually have our mostly ups and sometimes downs and bond together for strength.

Our Chloe is struggling with anxiety and fear but had a very good night with the joy of music and humor. We remain hopeful time will settle her soul but in the meantime are closing our circle tighter and engaging a counselor to assist her. She will pull through. I've never met a more assertive and aggresive spirit with a passion and humor that will surely serve her well. Keep her in your thoughts.

I apologize for the erroneously deep thoughts but when the spirit moves you, listen and WRITE. We miss you all but still give a thumbs up to this choice and look forward to experiencing more than the numbing routine of the daily grind!

XOXO The Nicholas'


*Family = love and trust in those that believe in us, laugh with us and care for us. Hence, family can be defined by love, blood, and/or friendship. Many of you fill that role for us and we are ever so thankful to wake up each day (while you enjoy your evening) and reflect upon our fortune in knowing you and realizing you are and will be there when we return.

September 4 - THE SHIPMENT!

THE SHIPMENT! Therein lies hours of planning, hours of shopping and hours of dreaming. Don’t be fooled. We could care less about most of the contents… except THE FOOD. The food, the food, the wonderful food. Poor little boxes, cans and bags of food patiently awaiting to fulfill their destiny of providing simple satisfaction and ohhs and awwws to this very hungry family.

I make it sound desperate but it’s really not that bad. I’d say it’s more like we are the Lindsay Lohan’s of food rehab. Do you think she could cold-turkey habits that make her feel amazing for 5 weeks without cravings and slight fall-backs? But she’ll make you think it’s not that bad either. Ok, poor analogy – the girls doesn’t eat and she’s a bad, bad girl, but you get the point.
So yesterday, September 4th, exactly 33 days after our arrival in Shanghai, 35 days after the boxes arrived at port and 47 days after we furiously packed and shipped, our boxes (83 small ones in all) ARRIVED! It was better than Christmas. Imagine our surprise to open more than half to repeat “huh???”, another quarter with “I can do something with this” and the last quarter- the food – with “GOD BLESS THE FOOD”!

We spent hours ripping open boxes to hug and squeeze and kiss each strangely familiar item. Our favorite? Captain Crunchberry. Our second favorite (three of us anyway) – masses of Tampax. They’re about as readily available over here as fresh cow milk (translate to NONE). The parmesan cheese took the biggest beating. It appears the heat and humidity for 35 days takes its toll and the jar was more than half empty – although sealed. There’s a science project for you.

Now Jon and I spend our time patrolling the cupboards, using subtle threats and peeking in the garbage to make sure none of the golden American food is thrown out.

I am sorry to say though the Captain Crunchberry is too sweet and the Velveeta/Hormel chili chip dip upsets the stomach. After 33 days in this country – they wreaked havoc on our stomach at the start and won again in the end.

WE WILL SURVIVE!

Daily Myth Solver – The Nicholas’ have will power. It sounds good but we broke once with $32 in Ben & Jerry ice cream. Must be HUGE containers? No – three little half-quart sizes but we made it last three whole nights. That is simply amazing…and delicious in itself.